While the Bad Girls Bible may originally have started with sex tips for women, so many men wanted sex advice too, that it just made sense to write this sex guide for men! So if you want to learn the techniques that will make you so good in bed that your wife or girlfriend won’t be able to control herself around you, then keep reading…
We’re going to start with the most important sex tip you will ever learn if you want to give your girl better sex. It’s…
Quick Warning: This tutorial video will teach you how to make your girl scream with pleasure and become sexually addicted to you. If you are interested in having her completely obsessed with you and only you, then check out the detailed (& explicit!) pussy eating tutorial video here.
1. The Golden Rule: Make Her Feel Sexy And Desired
Most guys never consider this one because it’s not a physical sex technique or position, but it’s by far the single most important sex tip I can give you when it comes to turning your girl on and having better sex.
Obviously, as a guy, it feels nice to be desired by your partner, but…
When you make your girl feel desired and wanted, it makes her crazy horny for you, even if you have yet to improve your sex skills.
Making her feel deeply desired and sexy will turn her into a sex craving monster.
If you are unsure of how well this technique works, just pick up any romance novel. The main story can always be summed up in the same way:
Man pursues woman.
Sidenote: If you want to learn how to make your girl squirt like a pornstar and give her girl back-arching, toe-curling, screaming (multiple) orgasms to keep her sexually addicted you, then you can learn them in my private and discreet newsletter. Get it here.
Seriously, pick up a copy of 50 Shades of Gray or just read a summary of it. The entire story is about a guy pursuing a girl. He desires her greatly.
The only caveat to technique is that she must already be somewhat attracted to you first. Women aren’t turned on by stalkers and losers!
So how do you make her feel desirable? While I cover the techniques you should use in more detail in the guide on how to make her horny, here’s a brief overview:
- Flatter her
- Show genuine appreciation
- Be thoughtful
- Use the “Princess Principle”
- Work on you
- Touch her the right way
- Make comfortable eye contact
Additional help: How to make her feel desired.
2. Be Selfish, Sometimes
You might be surprised to see this headline in a sex guide for men, but hear me out.
Being selfish in bed SOMETIMES is actually part of making your girl feel deeply desired, the idea that I talked about above.
Quick Quiz: Do You Give Lousy Blow Jobs?
If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.
This sex advice works on an intense level.
Let me explain.
When you desperately want to get her home, rip her clothes off, and fuck her in the kitchen because the bedroom seems too far away, it screams:
“I want every inch of you. And I want you now!”
It’s the perfect physical manifestation of desiring her.
It also puts the focus on your pleasure. Not bad, right?
So what are some ways that you can be selfish in a positive way and not in a needy, sad way?
- Try a morning quickie.
- Pull her into the shower with you.
- When she’s giving you a blow job/hand job, if she stops before finishing, tell her how good it feels and ask her to continue until you cum.
Of course, if you are always selfish when it comes to sex, this technique is useless. In fact, it will backfire. However, if you are totally selfish, say 1 in 10 times you have sex or maybe even 2 in 10 times you have sex, then it’s super powerful.
It lets your girl know that you can’t help yourself around her.
3. Understand Her Kinks and Specific Turn Ons
So many guys are total idiots when it comes to sex. They hope and often believe that what turns them on, should also turn on their girl.
This can be true, but…
Often the things that turn you on don’t turn your girl on. For some guys, not understanding this can be the only stumbling block that stops you from being better in bed.
Many women get turned on by things that are totally alien to guys. Here’s what I mean:
Watching you fix your car, look after your kids, or seeing you do the dishes can be an aphrodisiac for women. These things can literally be the key to unlocking her sex drive and turning her into a nymphomaniac, but guys often overlook them.
So if you want to be great in bed, then you have to discover these triggers and then incorporate them into your life.
Of course, if you start using these triggers in a forced and unnatural way, you’re a moron.
Like, if she tells you that she thinks it’s hot seeing you perform manual labor at 11 pm at night, then you run outside to start fixing your car or chopping wood with an ax, she’s going to be turned off…and maybe a little weirded out.
Instead, you need to make a mental note of them and then just incorporate them into your regular life.
Similarly, it’s easy for you to use a sex technique that another woman adored. But women aren’t all the same. Your current girlfriend might hate something that a past flame liked. You’ve got to customize what you do to the person you’re with.
If you have trouble finding out what makes her horny, you may want to check out our guide to better sexual communication.
Of course, she may have a few kinks and turn-ons that are easy to understand as a guy, too, like BDSM, rougher sex, or roleplaying that you can use if you want to fuck her good.
4. Clitoral Stimulation
It’s pretty much common knowledge that most women need clitoral stimulation during sex to orgasm. Not all, but most. In fact, one study found that 36.6% of women reported clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during intercourse, and an additional 36% indicated that, while clitoral stimulation was not needed, their orgasms feel better if their clitoris is stimulated during intercourse .
Some people even believe that women who can orgasm from penetration can do this because their clitoris is close enough to their vaginal opening to make it possible!
So if you’re ignoring the clitoris or not doing your due diligence, you’re not doing yourself–or your partner–any favors!
Luckily, you can brush up on your knowledge on this to get better in bed. I’ve already put together an in-depth guide on clitoral stimulation during sex. It’s written for women but is equally important that you read it as a man to learn what positions and techniques you should use during sex to maximize her clitoral stimulation and be better at sex.
5. Push Deep As You Cum
One simple yet powerful sex tip you should use is thrusting and pushing yourself as deep as possible right as you cum.
Many women find this crazy hot like you are unleashing your inner caveman on her.
Here are a few ways to do this:
- In Missionary position, grab her ass or shoulders and pull yourself deeper.
- In Cowgirl position, grab her waist and pull her downwards as you thrust upwards.
- In Doggy Style position, you have plenty of options: grab her hips, waist, shoulders, or even her hair.
- If she’s comfortable with deep throating you, then try pulling her head in as you cum. Just make sure you don’t choke or hurt her and have a way of communicating when to stop.
Pulling her deep as you cum also works great if one of you has an impregnation fetish.
6. Pulling Her Hair the Right Way
Many girls (and guys) find hair pulling hot during sex. Some don’t, but many do.
The problem with hair pulling is that there is a right way and wrong way to do it, a way that feels intensely erotic for your girl and a way that just fucking hurts her.
A lot of guys just randomly grab the end of her hair like the end of a leash. This HURTS and doesn’t feel good for her. Don’t do this.
You need to be more careful to master this sex technique.
The part of her hair she likes to have pulled is very specific. It’s…
- The area at the very back of her head from where her hair meets her neck to the top of her head.
- The first few inches of her hair, right by her scalp.
You should only focus on this area, and you should grab her hair in the following way:
Start by gently running your nails up the back of her neck into her hair so that they are lightly grazing her scalp. When your fingertips reach the area at the back of her scalp that is directly behind her eyes, gently grab her hair at the base. Hold it firmly and not tightly.
Make sure to grab a large bunch of hair. Grabbing and pulling a small lock of hair can feel very painful for her.
And that’s it for this sex tip!
Some women also enjoy feeling your nails graze over their scalp without you ever grabbing her hair.
7. Dominate Her
A lot of girls fantasize about getting dominated during sex. If you can dominate her, you can easily become the best she’s ever had, someone she fantasizes about and masturbates to.
There are 3 vital things you must understand before you start dominating your girl.
1) You need to be genuine and really dominate her. She needs to really feel and believe that you are dominating her. If your voice is full of nervousness and trepidation while you weakly/meekly try to change positions in bed, it will be harder for her to really believe and feel like you are dominating her.
But if you are staring into her eyes and sternly telling her to “get on your knees, bitch” while pushing her down, then it’s different; she knows you are dominating her. I’ll give you more examples of this below.
2) This only works with 2 consenting adults. If you are planning on some really intense domination, talk about it beforehand. Using a safeword is important to protect both of you physically and emotionally. If your girl doesn’t like being dominated, then don’t dominate her; skip to the next sex technique.
3) There are different flavors of domination, and you need to find out which flavor of domination your girl prefers.
Animalistic Domination – This is the kind of domination where you are tapping into your primal urges. You’re the man, and she’s the woman. “You want to fuck her, and nothing will stop you,” is the attitude you should have. Obviously, you should stop if she uses her safeword.
Here’s how you should act: You’re physically dominant, pushing her around and ripping her clothes off. When she protests, you don’t listen. You’re getting what you want.
Although some people skip safe words for certain types of BDSM or domination, safewords are vital for this one in case things get out of hand.
Loving Domination – This is where you are confident, dominant, and in control. When you reach the bedroom, slowly undress her, push her down onto the bed, so you are on top of her, and start having sex.
Lovingly dominating her isn’t about hurting or humiliating her, but you can…
- You want to remain in control, deciding which positions to switch to and moving her body.
- Softly grab her hair and massage her scalp.
- Gently pin her wrists to the bed.
- Lightly grab her neck as if to simulate choking her.
- Fucking her slowly but forcefully.
Wrestling & Play Fighting – This type of domination may sound ridiculous, but can be great for flirting, building sexual tension, and keeping your relationship exciting.
You’re basically going to be playfighting or play-wrestling with her while you’re in bed together. You should be able to overpower her and dominate her easily too 😉
Wrestling doesn’t sound particularly “hot & steamy,” but that’s the point; sex shouldn’t always be a serious affair. Laughing and having a bit of fun is important too.
Wrestling works so well because you a just having a bit of fun but also letting her know that you can completely physically dominate her, which will turn her on at the same time.
You can even amp it up further by joking or telling her something silly like, “I thought you were a strong, independent woman?” with a cheeky grin.
Sadistic Domination – If your girl has already expressed a masochistic side or an interest in humiliation, then you should explore it with her. Just make sure that you both agree to boundaries and a safeword first.
If she likes to be sadistically dominated in a physical way, then try:
- Whipping, spanking, or paddling her ass
- Face slapping
- The sore kind of hair pulling
- Deep throating her
- Making her hold painful stretches
- Ask her what kinds of sadistic physical domination she likes and then giving them to her.
If she likes to be verbally humiliated, then:
- Tell her she’s worthless
- Tell her she’s nothing but a slut
- Tell her she’s a stupid bimbo
- Spit on her.
- Tell her to say she is the thing that she finds most humiliating, whether it’s a “slut,” “whore,” or “loser”
- Find out what kind of ways she likes to be verbally humiliated and give them to her.
In case you haven’t realized yet, the best way to sadistically dominate her is to first ask what type of sadistic domination she’s into, then give it to her. It beats guessing.
I also want to repeat something important: Make sure you both agree to boundaries and a safeword before you dominate her in a sadistic way.
Bondage Domination – Lastly, you can dominate her with bondage. Tie her up, pin her down physically, or make her wear something that restricts her movements.
This one is pretty straightforward; just make sure to discuss what you plan on doing beforehand, don’t do anything to hurt her, make sure you use a safeword, and make sure that you can quickly release her from bondage in case something goes wrong. This is where having something like medical scissors/shears is vital before you even start.
You gotta talk about it. If you both want to enjoy the domination of your girl, then you need to talk about it and figure out what’s working and what isn’t.
If you have trouble communicating about sex, then read our guide to better sexual communication.
Domination does not mean being a dick – The final thing I have to say about dominating your girl is that it doesn’t mean you should be an asshole about it (unless she explicitly says that is what she wants).
It’s about having fun and making sex better for both of you.
Your girl may also be interested in reading the guide on how to be submissive to learn more.
8. Submit To Her
Some girls prefer to be in control. If your girl gets off more when you’re submitting to her (or you do), then try this sex trick, instead.
If you’re opened minded, you’ll realize that submitting to her sexually doesn’t mean you’re weak or less of a man. It’s just a kink, that’s all.
My advice on submitting to her is to follow the tips in the domination section above but in reverse. She may also benefit from reading those sex tips.
However, she’ll learn a lot more from my guide on how to dominate your man with confidence. I’ve also put together a guide for women on how to be submissive, which is also helpful if you’re a guy who is going to be submissive.
9. Explore Her Kinks & Fetishes with Her
If you are the guy that she feels safe exploring her kinks with, then you are putting yourself into a unique position. You are literally the doorway to her most core and intense desires. However…
Getting her to share them with you is the tricky part.
If your girl is totally relaxed and open-minded, then she’ll happily share her kinks and fetishes, but…
Oftentimes, people feel embarrassed or ashamed for having them. They think that they will be judged for getting off to something other than vanilla sex.
Keeping this in mind, there are 3 steps you need to follow if you want her to open up and share her kinks/fetishes with you:
1) Be non-judgemental.
She needs to know that when she tells you her deepest, darkest desires, you won’t freak out, and you’ll react the same way as when she tells you what her favorite food is. You won’t judge her for it and won’t make a big deal about it.
“That sounds cool. Have you always gotten off to that?” is the perfect response.
You do not want to make a fuss about it or get too excited. Just talk about it as if it’s no big deal.
2) Go first
If she appears reluctant to share her kinks with you, then a good way to get her to relax and open up is to go first and share yours.
If you can share your kinks in a blasé, no-big-deal kind of way, then she’ll feel that energy and will realize that you’re chill when it comes to this kind of thing.
3) Start slow
Whether you are both sharing your kinks with each other or actually in the process of acting them out, make sure to go slow.
You may feel super excited and want to try everything at once, but this can freak out your partner.
Because kinks and fetishes are often only hot in our heads, but not in real life. The forced-sex fantasy is a perfect example of this. Often, it’s something that’s better left as a fantasy. Or, if it’s going to be tried out in real life, there need to be firm boundaries such as safe words in place.
Instead, start with the lightest form of her kink, pay attention to her reactions to it, and then go from there.
BDSM is an umbrella term that stands for:
- Bondage and discipline (BD)
- Dominance and submission (DS). I already covered this above.
- Sadism and masochism (SM)
Any or all aspects of BDSM can make sex far more fun…or not.
It all depends on whether you and your partner are into it. If you are both into it…
That’s great; you’ve got a lot to explore. My only advice on exploring BDSM is the same advice I just shared in my previous point on kinks and fetishes:
This may sound frustrating, but it’s the best way to ensure you don’t freak each other out, and both have a good time.
If you want a more in-depth explanation of BDSM along with a guide on how to explore it safely, then check out our BDSM guide.
11. Eat Pussy Like A God
If you want to give her body contorting, crying, screaming orgasms, you should learn how to eat pussy PROPERLY.
The only 2 techniques you need are called the Pancake and Vortex.
You can learn them through my guide on how to eat a girl out.
And yes, some girls really don’t enjoy you performing oral sex on them. If she happens to feel this way, then treat it as no biggie and move on to another sex technique.
12. Threesomes and Moresomes
Not everyone fantasizes about group sex, but a lot of girls do. If she’s not into it, you can skip this section, but if she is…
You should check out our guide on how to have a threesome.
A lot of the advice in the threesome guide also applies to having group sex.
13. The Boring Secret To Turning Her Into A Nymphomaniac
Every day I get hundreds of emails from guys, and the biggest question I get from them is along these lines:
“Help me, Sean! My wife’s sex drive is non-existent. How do I boost her libido so that she wants to have sex more often?”
They want to know:
- Is there a pill to boost her libido?
- Is there a physical technique they should use that will magically turn her on?
- How come they buy her flowers/gifts often, but she still doesn’t want sex. Why isn’t this working?
All these questions are coming at the issue of low libido from the wrong angle.
They assume that libido should look the same in women and men and that, if it doesn’t, it’s because women have low libido. They also shift the focus to medications rather than taking care of the relationship and sexual needs that can boost sex drive for women (and men!). And many of these things are psychological.
You may have even heard that cheesy phrase that the brain is the biggest sex organ in women. Well, it’s true.
Let me break it down as simply as possible.
There are “Brakes” that lower your girl’s sex drive and “Accelerators” that increase her sex drive . These Brakes and Accelerators are mostly psychological, and they can both be happening at the same time. This is why it’s known as the dual-control model of sexual desire; although, the researchers describe these forces officially as the sexual excitement and inhibition systems rather than accelerators and brakes .
But knowing the technical name is less important than understanding how the dual-control model of Accelerators and Brakes works in reality.
Brakes that lower her sex drive include:
- Low self-confidence
- Feeling taken for granted
- Feeling unattractive
- Lack of trust
- The wrong time in her menstrual cycle (aka her period).
- Certain medical conditions
- Responsibilities in the home
- Sex-negative messages she’s absorbed
- Sights, smells, or other senses that turn her off
- Fear of pregnancy or STIs
- Anxiety, depression, or low mood
Accelerators that increase her sex drive include:
- Feeling deeply desired
- Sexual tension
- A passionate guy
- A partner who is charming to her friends (yes, this can be huge!)
- A small gift (flowers, cooking dinner, doing the dishes, putting the kids to bed, etc.)
- Feeling secure in her relationship
- Being comfortable with her body
Here’s the funny thing about these Brakes and Accelerators…
No matter how many accelerators you push, if the Brakes to her sex drive aren’t removed, her desire for sex can still be zero.
It’s like putting your foot on the accelerator when driving your car while at the same time keeping it in park with your other foot on the brake.
Here’s what I mean.
She could have her celebrity crush in front of her, telling her he wants her, BUT…
If she is super-stressed, has low self-confidence, doesn’t trust this celebrity, and has a medical condition like diabetes suppressing her sex drive, then she probably won’t want to have sex with him.
So, if you want to boost her sex drive, you need to:
FIRST, remove the Brakes to her sex drive, then afterward, focus on pushing the Accelerators to make her horny.
I talk more about removing the Brakes to her sex drive in this section of the Bad Boys Bible guide on turning her on.
And in another section of the Bad Boys Bible, I talk about pushing down hard on the Accelerators to her sex drive to make her horny.
14. Understand Foreplay for Women
Foreplay for women is a little different than foreplay for men.
Most men are ready to go when:
- You see your girl and find her attractive/sexy/hot or
- Your girl becomes physical with you
A few girls are like this too but not everyone.
Instead, most women get turned on mentally, as I mentioned in my tips about turning off the Brakes that lower her sex drive and turning on the Accelerators to increase her sex drive. Another way of saying that she gets turned on mentally, is that it comes down to how you make her feel.
If you want to make sure you’re using the right foreplay techniques to turn her on, check out this guide on making her feel desired, building sexual tension, and flirting with her.
My final foreplay tip for men is realizing that you can start it hours before you even see her by building sexual tension and flirting with her through text messages and over the phone.
15. Getting Hard, Getting Bigger & Lasting Longer
I get a bunch of “penis questions” every week, and they all fall into the same three categories that I have already answered in-depth. So, I’m not going to repeat my answers on this page but have provided links to each sex tip for men below.
Click the question to see the answer.
- How do I get hard and keep my erection for longer?
- How do I last longer in bed?
- How do I make my penis bigger?
16. Comfortable, Not Confident
The word confidence gets thrown around a lot when it comes to sex and satisfying your girl. But I don’t think it’s the right description of what women want.
Yes, girls are attracted to confident guys.
But most guys think that confidence is:
- Believing they are “alpha.”
- Believing they are already a god in the bedroom and don’t need to try harder
- Taking control of every situation and being the leader
This is all fine, and some women are attracted to this behavior, but even this small minority of women get bored of it very quickly.
Instead, what women are truly attracted to is a guy who is comfortable with himself AND who makes her feel comfortable too.
I’m talking about:
- A guy who isn’t particularly bothered when someone else is in charge but is also comfortable being in charge.
- A guy who is comfortable making the first move but isn’t crushed when he’s rejected.
- A guy who can shrug off or laugh off occasional mishaps in the bedroom, like losing his erection or cumming too quickly.
- A guy who knows his penis will never be the biggest, and it’s not an issue for him, as he still knows how to please his girl.
Being comfortable is NOT about avoiding self-improvement or being a doormat. It’s about being relaxed and accepting yourself for who you are (respecting yourself). This attitude has an oddly powerful effect on women and can help you improve your sex skills as a guy:
They see you being non-judgemental about yourself, and they assume you’ll be non-judgemental about them too.
17. If You Feel Nervous, Do This
It’s totally normal to be a little nervous before getting intimate with a woman, especially if this is your first time with her.
However, some guys are more than nervous…
They are terrified.
- What if she thinks I have a small penis?
- What if I can’t get it up and stay up?
- What if I cum too quickly?
- What if I take too long to cum?
- What if she doesn’t like my body?
- What if she thinks I have BO?
- Should I shave my pubic hair or grow it out a little?
- What if I don’t make her cum?
I could add another 20 questions to this list.
What cracks me up about this attitude is that these guys are totally, 100% focused on themselves. They totally forget about the girl they are with. They hardly spend a moment judging her in the same harsh way they judge themselves.
Could she feel nervous, too, perhaps?
Is there a chance that she could be worried about how she looks or if her performance is “good enough?”
Of course, she is going to be nervous and worried about her looks and performance!
It turns out that everyone is so worried about themselves when it comes to sex that they usually spend no time judging the other person. More importantly, they spend no time on…
Enjoying the fucking moment!
So keep this in mind the next time you are feeling nervous during sex:
- She will be worried if you find her attractive enough.
- She will be worried if you find her too fat or too skinny.
- She will be worried if she’s athletic enough for you.
- She will be worried if she can’t make you cum.
- She will be worried if she’s too loud or too quiet.
- She will even be worried if she wore the right lingerie for you.
- She will be worried if she can’t get wet (yes, some women can be incredibly horny but can’t get wet).
Oh, and most women find it super hot if you cum really quickly from time to time. Not every time, just sometimes. They interpret it as you being unable to control yourself with her. Now that’s a useful sex tip!
Do you know what is a huge turn off if you are not a Brad Pitt look-a-like, with a 13-inch penis (this guy does not exist, by the way)?
Making a big deal about it.
Nobody expects you to be a sexual adonis, but if you are apologizing or getting defensive about something you feel is lacking, then you are going to turn her off.
Why not focus on getting better in bed and blowing her mind, instead of focusing on yourself?!
18. Give Her the Most Powerful Orgasms of Her Life
It goes without saying that if you want to be the best she’s ever had, then you need to give her the most powerful orgasms of her life.
I’m talking about the kinds of orgasms that make her legs quiver & shake, make her squirt, or make her cry/laugh uncontrollably. Yes, some women laugh/cry when they have extremely intense orgasms; they literally start to lose control of their bodies.
So check out these guides if you want to learn what makes a woman scream your name and make sex better. They’re all part of the Bad Boys Bible section of the site.
19. Sex Toys Are Tools
The bottom line on sex toys is that they can be great, but you need to recognize that they’re tools for people to use to have better sex and not replacements for people.
Some people feel insecure about using sex toys in the bedroom, but think of it like this: you can use a screwdriver to put together a piece of furniture or a drill. They’re both tools, but one makes the job a little easier and lets you focus on more important things.
Sex toys can be like that.
The key is making sure that using sex toys doesn’t lead to disconnection during sex. Use sex toys as part of sex, an intimate activity you share with your partner.
With this in mind, here are my favorite sex toys and methods to get the most out of them.
There are tons of different kinds of vibrators. Here are the best.
Wearable couple’s vibrators – These include the We-Vibe and LELO Tiani. They are shaped like a “U.” Your girl inserts one end inside her vagina, with the other part wrapping around her clit. They are designed for sex, so you can still penetrate her.
These are perfect if your girl struggles to reach orgasm during sex and needs a little extra stimulation to the clitoris or G Spot or both at the same time. They can also make her feel more full if you’re not super well-endowed.
Air pulse toys – Also known as suction vibrators. These are a newer kind of toy. They contain a small hole/circle that you place over your girl’s clit. The vibrator then gently and rhythmically sucks on her clit. Some of them also vibrate.
This is like a mechanical version of my technique, The Vortex.
The great thing about these clitoral suction vibrators is that they feel different from regular vibrators, which not everyone likes.
While you may want to use an air pulse toy on your girl, it’s often better for her to take control, so she can better position the small suction hole over her clit for maximum stimulation.
Classic vibrators – These are sometimes penis-shaped and vibrate in a similar way that an electric toothbrush vibrates. While you can place it directly on your girl’s clit for more pleasure, she may find this kind of stimulation too intense and even painful, so try starting out by circling around her clit and even running it over her labia and using indirect contact. Of course, they’re great for internal stimulation, too!
Remote Control Vibrators – Lots of toys are now able to be controlled remotely, either with a specific remote or even using your smartphone. The fun of these toys is that you have control. This can lead to some hot/embarrassing times for your girl if you happen to be out in public together while she’s wearing it, and you have the remote.
Keep in mind that the technology is still improving. Connection and response issues are pretty common with remote-controlled vibrators. Plus, many of these vibrators are small and too weak to give a woman an orgasm. But this is still a pretty stellar foreplay tip for guys!
Rabbit Vibrators – These are insertable toys with separate “bunny ears” (or another attachment) that stimulate your girl’s clit. The insertable part usually has internal mechanical parts that stimulate the entire length of her vaginal canal, even if you’re not thrusting.
Clitoral Vibrators – Aside from air pulse toys, there are plenty of clitoral vibrators. Some contour to the body. Many are small enough that you can use them during penetration.
You can also go in the other direction and try a powerful wand massager like the Magic Wand Original. Wands typically plug in to provide intense stimulation.
Last word on vibrators – Often, guys want to choose a flesh-colored, penis-shaped vibrator for their girl. This can be a mistake.
You need to think about what she would prefer. Often, this is something in a neutral or abstract shape.
The number one sex tip, as always, is talking to her and figuring out what she prefers.
Check out my Vibrator Guide for more in-depth information on how to use vibrators to make sex better.
Why would I include dildos in a sex guide for men? Because they’re a powerful tool that you may have at your disposal, and taking the pressure off your penis can help you perform better!
Some guys get super insecure at the thought of their girl using a dildo.
“She clearly doesn’t like my penis. I must be a beta cuck!!!”
Nah…that’s not what it is.
Girls like dildos for multiple reasons:
- She likes having complete control of how fast and deep she takes it.
- She just wants to masturbate and doesn’t actually want sex with another guy or girl.
- She’s feeling horny and wants to fuck you, but you’re not there.
- She wants to try double penetration with you and doesn’t want to be with another guy.
- A tiny percentage of girls actually are size queens, AND they don’t want to be with another guy, so they’ve decided to get their fix with a dildo instead. It actually sounds quite reasonable, right? It’s like a guy buying a pocket pussy.
Either way, there aren’t any hard rules when it comes to choosing a dildo for your girl other than talking to her.
Plus, you can even enjoy dildos for pegging and anal stimulation.
For more advice on this, check out my in-depth, illustrated guide on how to use a dildo.
20. Anal & Other Butt Stuff
Some women adore anal, and some don’t.
There’s also some anal sex positions that are more enjoyable than others.
But, before you start having anal sex with your girl, you should build up to it with some anal foreplay. Eating her ass or anally fingering her are great tools to have in your anal foreplay arsenal. I’ve also created separate guides on how to use a butt plug and anal beads to heighten her pleasure. Of course, you can use these toys on yourself too.
If you want to experience prostate orgasms, you and your girl should read my prostate milking guide.
And if you are having any kind of anal sex, make sure to use lube.
Speaking of lube…
21. Lube Her Up
One of the most important sex tips for guys is to use lube.
There are really only 3 things you need to know about lube.
1. Some women can be insanely horny and desperate to bang your brains out, but can still have trouble getting wet. Medications, a certain time during her menstrual cycle, or even something like stress can prevent her from getting wet. Don’t stress it, just grab some lube.
2. Oil-based lube can be dangerous if you use it with a regular latex condom, it will degrade it and can even break it, potentially leading to infections or pregnancy. Keep in mind that oil-based lubes can also degrade latex toys. Water-based or silicone lube does not have the same effect.
3. The lube you use should feel natural. Everyone has their own preferences, which means that some people prefer a slicker lube while others want something thick. But a sticky lube generally isn’t what you want. Unfortunately, some water-based lubes get sticky as they dry, so it may take some trial and error to find the perfect lube for you and your partner.
Check out our in-depth guide to lube, what kinds of lube you should use, and how to use lube to improve sex for both yourself and your girl.
22. Roleplaying With Your Girl
This sex technique for men is all about playing pretend. When I say “roleplay,” I’m talking about things like
- Consensual nonconsent (forced sex) roleplay
- Pretending to be a crooked cop arresting an “innocent girl.”
- Being your girl’s “toyboy”
- Her pretending to be your sexy secretary.
I’m not talking about World of Warcraft or Dungeons & Dragons!
Roleplaying different scenarios with your girl can be super hot, but it can also feel really lame.
There’s one golden rule you need to follow when it comes to roleplaying in the bedroom:
Roleplaying works best when you genuinely believe and “buy in” to the role you are playing.
It feels lame when either you or your girl don’t buy into your roles and really live them. It’s like when someone is pretending to be confident and tells you, “I’d consider myself to be a confident guy,” but their voice is trembling, and they can’t make eye contact with you. You know they are not confident, and it feels weird.
A psychologist would explain this as a lack of congruency.
So, if she is only submissive when it comes to sex, then she will most likely feel awkward pretending to be a cop or prison warden, but…
If she is playing a submissive role, like a prisoner or “innocent girl,” then roleplaying will feel more natural to her, and it will be a piece of cake to get into character.
This applies to you too.
So try to figure out together what types of roleplaying would suit your natural inclinations best and go with it.
This genuineness, buying in, and congruency also applies to talking dirty…
23. Talking Dirty
There are really only 2 things you should know about talking dirty.
1) Just like with roleplaying, you need to be genuine and believe what you say.
You can’t tell your girl, “You’ve got the biggest breasts I’ve ever seen,” if she’s flat-chested.
She’ll know that you’re full of crap. It will turn her off more than it will turn her on. And if she’s turned off, then it’s going to be hard to please her sexually.
Equally, you can’t tell your girl, “This is the best sex of my life,” if you are lying there silent, hardly puffing and not making eye contact with her. It’s not believable.
Instead, you must act congruently and genuinely with what you say.
If you are not comfortable using foul language, then don’t use it. Telling her, “I love your body” can be far more powerful than “God-fucking-dam, I want to cum all over your fucking body, it’s making me so horny” if it’s true to your personality.
2) The problem with “lines”
I get emails all the time asking me for the “lines” they should use with their girl when talking dirty.
This is the wrong approach. Trying to remember what to say to your girl takes you out of the moment, which kills the vibe. She’ll feel it, and so will you.
Instead, you need to approach it from your current mindset in the moment you are having sex.
So, your mindset could be dominant or submissive, loving or slightly aggressive, excited, or relaxed, etc.
If you are feeling super horny all day, then during sex, tap into that mindset. You’d naturally say things like, “I’ve wanted this all day” or “You’ve been making me so horny lately” or “Fuck, your pussy feels better than I imagined.”
If you are feeling more aggressive and dominant during sex, then go with the flow of that mindset. When you do, you’ll naturally find yourself saying things like
- “You like that, don’t you?”
- “Beg for my cum”
- “I love how submissive you are.”
- “Give me that pussy”
- “Don’t make me hurt you.”
- “I want to feel you cum on my cock”
Of course, you could feel more loving and caring. This kind of mindset would lead you to say things like
- “I love you so much.”
- “You mean so much to me.”
- “You feel so good.”
I’m not saying that you should necessarily use these lines. They are just to give you an idea of what you could say.
The point I’m trying to make is that you should think about how you are feeling in the moment. What is your mindset?
- Feeling of intense love?
- Dominant or submissive?
- Uncontrollable lust?
- Some combination of the above?
- A different mindset altogether?
By tapping into your mindset and how you’re feeling in the moment, you’ll be able to stay in the moment, say things that feel real to your girl, and you’ll also reduce how much thinking you have to do so that you can concentrate more on the act itself.
24. Edge Her
Edging your girl is the process of bringing her close to orgasm, then reducing your stimulation, so she doesn’t climax, then bringing her close to orgasm again.
You can use this tip for better sex over and over until finally, you allow her to orgasm.
When you think about it, this actually sounds kind of frustrating, but…
It keeps her at an incredibly high level of sexual pleasure for longer and…
It leads to far more powerful orgasms for her.
Sounds good, right? No wonder it’s a good skill to have if you want to be great in bed.
Edging can also work on you, so you may want to ask her to try it.
I’ve put together an entire guide on how to edge your partner if you’re interested in more.
25. Give Her G Spot Orgasms
While not everyone can have G spot orgasms, some people can, and many of those people report that G Spot orgasms are generally more intense than clitoral orgasms, which makes this a great sex technique for men to use with their partners. These orgasms radiate through her body instead of staying at her clit. You may even be able to give her multiple G Spot orgasms during the same session!
So, she may like them… And you may like giving them to her 😉
That makes this sex technique a win-win!
To give her a G Spot orgasm, you first need to find her G Spot. This requires a little finesse.
You won’t be able to find it if she is not thoroughly aroused. The G spot literally swells up when she gets turned on . This can make it more sensitive and easy to find. So before you go looking for it, make sure you have given her the foreplay that she responds to best.
Its physical location is about 4.5cm inside her vagina on the anterior wall (the side of her vagina closest to her belly) , so it can easily be reached by fingers and most penises.
It should feel like the top of your palate in your mouth but softer. That is, it feels slightly dimpled but very soft to touch.
Can’t find it? Don’t stress, try to finding another night and focus on something else for now. Sometimes being good in bed means knowing when to stop, especially if she’s frustrated or impatient.
26. Finger Her
I’ve already created a guide on how to finger your girl for screaming, shaking, crying orgasms. Check that out if you want to supercharge your fingering abilities and improve your foreplay abilities.
27. Talking and Opening Up To Each Other aka Sexual Communication
I know how it can sometimes be awkward or difficult to talk about sex with your partner. It also doesn’t sound like a bunch of fun, but…
It’s the most important thing you need to do to have better sex as you can figure out what is working, what’s not working, and what changes your partner wants you to make.
What about listening to her body, her breathing, and her “sex sounds”? – Honestly, this can be a good idea, but the sounds and movements your partner makes (or doesn’t make) during sex can be faked. You might even confuse a pained sound for a pleasurable one.
A better option is listening to the sounds and movements your partner makes and talking to her directly about what she enjoys and doesn’t enjoy.
This will give you a better idea about what she wants and how you can perform better.
Start with a compliment – A great way to start any sex talk is to be complimentary. Let her know about something she does that you enjoy. Then ask her if there’s anything she likes you doing or wants you to do more often.
Start small – If you are both opening up to each other for the first time about your sex life, you may feel like dumping every one of your fantasies, fetishes, and kinks on her. This is often a bad idea. It can be overwhelming to be hit with everything at once like this.
A better option is to start with something small, judge her reaction, and go from there. If she is excited and positive about it, then keep sharing. If not, then you may want to wait until the next time to share more.
She can be awkward and nervous with sharing – It’s not just you who can feel awkward sharing your deepest, darkest fantasies, especially if you’ve been judged about them in the past. Your girl can feel exactly the same way.
Understand this and focus more on making her feel comfortable than trying to get her to spill her guts to you. Besides, the more comfortable she feels, the more she will share with you.
She may NOT want to act out her fantasies – Many women and men have fantasies that they never want to act out in real life. In fact, I don’t think anyone with a rape fantasy actually wants to get raped.
She may share things with you that may initially shock you, but keep in mind she may never actually want to experience them.
The Go First principle – I talk about this elsewhere on the site and want to repeat it. I call it the Go First principle.
Here’s how it works:
When you share something with someone, their natural instinct is to reciprocate and share something of their own.
So, when you compliment her on something you enjoy her doing during sex, her natural instinct is to compliment you back on something she enjoys about you. This also applies when you share a fantasy. Use this information to become better in bed as a man.
Trust Her – I often get emails from guys that think their girl is lying to them.
- “She told me she doesn’t like me going down on her. WTF! Who doesn’t like oral sex??!?!?!”
- “Her dildo is bigger than me, which makes me think she is a size queen, but she says she’s not. How can I tell for sure?”
- “She told me about her fantasy. Her fantasy is having sex in front of a fire. Really? That’s her fantasy? I think she’s holding back and, she’s afraid to tell me her real fantasy because it’s actually far dirtier. How can I make her front up and tell me the truth?
Here’s my answer to these questions:
- Yes, some girls don’t like oral (and sometimes it’s because they’re too self-conscious to enjoy it).
- She may be a size queen, or… Maybe she just bought the wrong sized dildo? Maybe it was the cheapest? Maybe it was the only one available for purchase? I can’t tell for sure.
- I get emails all the time from female readers about their fantasies. These seemingly “vanilla” fantasies make up the majority of them.
The point I’m trying to illustrate is that you should trust what your girl is saying. Take it at face value and don’t feel that there is some agenda behind it. If she says you’re good in bed, then believe her.
For more on talking to your girl, and figuring out how to share more with each other, read the guide on sexual communication.
And if this isn’t a problem you have, then read the next section in our sex guide for guys.
28. Naked Male Aggression
Tapping into what I call Naked Male Aggression is a way to get in touch with your most base instincts during sex AND before sex to be better in bed.
To be clear, this is not about being an asshole or hurting your girl, or ignoring your girls’ wants and needs.
It’s about returning to our caveman days when there were no suits to wear, no office to get to in the morning, and there were no meetings about a new company policy on why you can’t wear shorts to the office. There was no bullshit, only instinct.
Here’s what I mean.
The next time you are feeling horny, grab your wife, and kiss her passionately. Don’t ask her how she’s feeling first. Don’t tell her that you’re feeling horny. Just go for it and show her how you’re feeling. If she responds well to this foreplay technique, then grab her and lead her to the bedroom.
Obviously, if she’s in deep concentration or completely stressed out, this will not work well. But if she’s already relaxed, or even better, if she’s bored, then this is going to work incredibly well.
Here are a few more examples:
1. The next time you are having sex, take control. Taking control is slightly different from dominating your girl. You are taking control for your pleasure so that you get off and experience maximum enjoyment, not to make her feel submissive. Push her into the position you want. Fuck her as fast or as slow as feels good to you. Finish where and how you want. This is very like being selfish, which I already mentioned above.
2. Get physical. If you are in the kitchen, lift her onto the kitchen table. Or carry her to the bedroom. Physically take control and remind her that you are far stronger than her. Then, fuck her good.
3. Moan, groan, grunt, and say whatever you feel like in the moment. If it’s fake, then she’ll probably be able to tell.
Naked Female Aggression – Women can tap into the very same impulses as you can. She can unleash her inner cavewoman, and it makes for some great sex. The best way for this to happen is to first display your Naked Male Aggression. It has a way of bringing out her inner cavewoman. The other way is with a drop of alcohol. Not a lot, just a small amount.
Disclaimer: I wish I didn’t have to make these disclaimers, but some guys are idiots. Unleashing your Naked Male Aggression on your girl is not about hurting her, scaring her, having nonconsensual sex or being a dick. You still need to be a gentleman.
29. What Makes You Horny
If you want to have better sex, then you need to figure out what helps to make you horny and puts you in the right mood. Many of the things that help your girl get horny easily will help you too. Things like:
- Lack of stress
- Enough sleep
- Good diet
- Being physically healthy, i.e., working out regularly
- Intense sexual tension
The triggers that apply to you and make you horny are ultimately unique to you. Everything from the perfume she wears to how she dresses to hearing her laugh can set you off. Of course, there are your kinks, too.
Once you know these triggers or accelerators to your sex drive, you can focus on amping them up.
If you’re smart, then you’ll let your girl know what your triggers are too.
Keep in mind:
Learning what makes you horny and making sure your girlfriend knows these triggers is YOUR responsibility. Some guys think that they can drop hints and hope their girl figures them out on her own. This is stupid. You need to let her know more directly.
This doesn’t mean you should dump everything on her when she least expects it. Instead, wait until you are already talking about sex. Then tell her one small thing that drives you wild. If she pulls on that string and seems interested, then continue to elaborate and share another one or two more turn-ons.
Then leave it at that until the next time you are talking about sex.
Over a period of weeks and months, you’ll eventually be able to share everything with her that turns you on, and she can use those sex tricks on you!
30. Habits & Routines
The conventional sex advice is that falling into a routine is bad for spontaneity and excitement. This is completely true, but…
The flip side is arguably worse. Constant change is exhausting.
Trying new sex techniques every time isn’t as fun as it sounds. It’s like taking a vacation every week. It’s annoying, and you can never settle in to a rhythm.
Keep this in mind for your sex life:
If you always insist on trying new positions every time you have sex, then you’re never going to come back to the ones you both find most pleasurable.
So, you need to find a balance. Keep a mental list of all the things both you and your girl enjoy and don’t forget to improve your sex skills, but also try new things from time to time. Here’s a list of things that should help:
- 119 sex positions with demonstrations
- 25 orgasm techniques to use on your girl
- 23 kinky sex techniques she can use on you
- Learn how to eat pussy like a god
- How to make a girl squirt
- 15 fingering techniques & tips
- In-depth blow job guide for your girl
- The anal sex guide
In addition to this sex guide for men, these pages all contain tips to help you perform better and be good in bed.
31. Now What?
This sex guide for men may have felt like an overwhelming wall of text! Here’s what you should do now.
Quickly go back over the page.
Scan it & bookmark it.
Find one or two or a maximum of three pieces of sex advice that resonate with you. Take this advice and incorporate it into your sex life.
Once you have done that effectively, come back and add some more sex tips into your routine.
Don’t try to do everything at once. It won’t make you better in bed as a man.
If you have any advice of your own about how to be good in bed for other men, please add it below in the comments section!