Don’t you just love oral sex? When your partner’s sole intent is to provide you with pleasure, it can be a mind­blowing experience – and it’s one that comes without the risk of pregnancy! However, you may have run into some stumbling blocks when it comes to getting a guy to go down on you and make you to get a guy to go down on youIt may be due to previous negative experiences, a misunderstanding of how the vagina or vulva works or simply personal preferences. In many cases, you can make the experience more pleasant or explain how important it is that he eats you out.

Side note: Get him to use these pussy eating techniques

Side Note: I put together this in-depth assesment that will uncover just how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. It may uncover some uncomfortable truths, or you may discover that you are already a queen at giving blow jobs. Click here to take my quick (and shockingly accurate) “Blow Job Skills” assessment right now and find out how good your blow job skills really are…

Preparation Before Getting Your Man to Go Down on You

my boyfriend never goes down on me

There’s no doubt about it, receiving oral sex isn’t usually a great idea with just a moment’s notice. If you’ve ever tried to give a guy a blow job after a particularly active day or when he hasn’t had a chance to shower, you might have been turned off by the odors and tastes down there. Some men are often particularly sensitive about the smell and taste of their clitoris and vagina, so you’re not alone in this thinking.

Related: How to make your vagina taste and smell like a peach

However, you can use this knowledge to ensure both you and your partner will be comfortable when it comes time for a good tongue ravishing on your clit.

You’ve probably heard that you should never use soap inside your vagina, which is true because your vagina is self cleaning and cleansing products can actually upset the healthy bacteria and natural pH balance. All you need is a water rinse inside. However, you can use a gentle and non-scented soap.

Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you’ll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You’ll also learn the 5 dangerous & “dumb” sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.

If you feel like you could freshen up but a shower isn’t in the cards, you have options. Several companies also make cleansing wipes for sex.

However, you don’t need a product specifically for sex. Wet wipes made for the bathroom will do just as well and are more inconspicuous.

Cleanliness isn’t the only factor that contributes to whether your partner will happily go down on you. Presentation can be a big deal.

To Shave or Not?

While we would never recommend that you alter your natural pubic hair – and pubic hair is just that: natural – to please someone else, you might find that you enjoy having a Brazilian wax, being shaved, trimmed or even having pubic hair cropped to create a cute design. Your partner might have no real preference, but ask to be sure if you’d like to learn how to please him.

A little landscaping goes a long way, so you don’t necessarily have to shave it bare or even shave at all because we all know how sensitive skin can become under the constant graze of a razor blade. An even trim makes your clit and vulva more accessible to your partner while reducing the chances of a stray hair getting caught in his throat.

You might even find that you like being able to wear more form­fitting underwear or swimwear after trimming.

Consider using flavored lube. This might be one trick you use when giving head to your man to provide a more pleasant experience. If he’s at all worried about it being unpleasant, keep a bottle of his favorite flavored lube within reach. Finally, you can often make the experience more pleasant by holding aside your labia to provide easier access to your clit and more breathing room.

Some men do this automatically, but there’s nothing stopping you from reaching down to give a helping hand. You can even use some masturbation techniques on your clit while he uses his best oral sex techniques on you.

Quick Quiz: Do You Give Lousy Blow Jobs?

If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.

How to Get Him to Go Down on You

how to get a guy to eat you out

Perhaps the first thing you should do it show him this study on how many women like to have their pussy eaten.

Of course, no one wants to actually force their partners to do anything that isn’t kosher outside of a healthy power­play or femdom relationship (speaking of powerplay, here’s some tips on how to be more dominant). So what can you do if all your preparation and invitation has been shunned?

It might be time for a serious discussion, especially if you’re having difficulty achieving orgasm any other way.

Related: How to orgasm easily

It might be easier getting a guy to go down on you if he realizes that you’re unable to orgasm from penetration alone, which is often the case for women. Stimulation of the clitoris won’t naturally happen with every body. The further your clitoris is from your vaginal opening, the less likely it gets any stimulation during sex unless you or your partner stimulates it either manually or with a sex toy.

Furthermore, that may not be enough to get you off. For some women, oral sex is more effective than any other type of stimulation.

Even if you’re unable to orgasm through oral sex, which is entirely natural and no reason to stress, it can still be incredibly arousing and provide a bonding opportunity for you and your man.

Also: How to get horny

Stress how good a blowjob feels for him even when he doesn’t cum from it (more blow job techniques). If he needs help, remind him by reciprocating. If you’re wondering how to get him to go down on you, suggest the 69 position or a similar position where you’re pleasing one another simultaneously.

Finally, you can emphasize that you want to feel closer to your partner through oral sex. There are few things so intimate as when your man’s face is between your legs and his tongue is working at your clit to make you cum. It can feel pleasurable and powerful in a way that women don’t often get to experience.

He should read this: 25 techniques to make a woman cum hard

If you’re partner understands the significance of oral sex to you, it can make his decision to lavish you with his tongue much easier. He may also be interested in trying out some of these excellent clitoral stimulation techniques when he does go down on you and starts eating you out.

What Not to Do When Getting Your Man to Go Down On You

Nagging – If you’ve ever been in a position where someone wanted something from you that you didn’t want to give, you know how ineffective nagging can be. Even worse, it often leads to fights. It can also be a huge turn off for him…here are 9 other turn offs for men that you’ll want to avoid.

Avoid criticism, especially after sex – You might want to bring up suggestions outside of the bedroom – and certainly not as a criticism directly after sex – to get your partner in the mood. Honey catches more flies than vinegar, and you certainly want your partner buzzing around your honey pot.

You also want to stay away from passive­-aggressive territory, where you refuse any type of sex because your partner doesn’t want to go down on you. This is unhealthy for any relationship, and if yours is simply a sex­based exchange, you may want to consider finding another partner, instead.

Guilt or fighting with your partner can associate negative thoughts and feelings with going down on you, which is often counterproductive when you’re trying to encourage that behavior. Keep communication calm and civil otherwise you risk creating a toxic relationship situation.

Related: Improve your sexual communication

Final Thoughts On Getting a Guy to Go Down On You

my boyfriend won't go down on me

Many women have a difficult time allowing their partners to go down on them, so it’s not so much a question of getting your man to go down on you as it is being comfortable enough to allow him – especially if it’s your first time.

If you’re in a healthy and trusting relationship, you might ease the tension with a glass or two of wine. We recommend mixing alcohol and sex only when you have an established relationship with a sexual partner and not drinking to excess, which can introduces a whole slew of problems to the bedroom besides drunk sex. A glass of wine before bed can be good for your heart and your sex life.

If you’re tried everything listed, your partner may simply be one that doesn’t – and won’t ever – like to perform oral on you. It’s up to you to choose whether you’re sexually compatible, but you can also consider a few sex toys that mimic oral sex. Although it’s not exactly like the real thing, it provides another option if you’re committed to making your relationship work sans oral love.

Your partner might simply need time and reassurance, however. Gentle encouragement and positive reinforcement are often all that you need to do if you want your partner to come around about making you cum through oral.

Allow your partner to work up to longer and more intense cunnilingus sessions and don’t emotionally or physically force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. Although you might be eager, this could be damaging to both your sexual and emotional relationship.

However, the effort and patience will be well worth it once you can reap the benefits of oral sex and your partner can see how how much it pleases to you to be on the receiving end. Try these tips for yourself to see how your sex life can be improved with amazing oral sex!

This is going to sound a little crazy, but…

I want to teach you some oral sex techniques I call “sexual heroin” because they will make any man completely and utterly addicted to you, doing anything just to be with you.

These secret oral sex techniques, that you can use on any man, will give him back-arching, body-shaking, screaming orgasms so powerful that he may pass out afterwards.

If you are in a relationship where the “spark” is no longer there and would like to experience more passion, fire, and intensity then you may want to check them out.

Some side effects include:


  • Having a man who constantly looks at you like he wants to rip your clothes off.
  • Other women becoming jealous of your relationship and how your man treats you.
  • A guy who makes excuses to his buddies and cancels on them so he can spend more time with you.
  • A man who can’t keep his hands off you.
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Lisa has a Masters of Education (M.Ed.) in Human Sexuality from Widener University's Center for Human Sexuality Studies. She is continuing her studies at the University as a doctoral candidate. Lisa is a member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapist (ASSECT). She has guest taught human sexuality at several universities including Montclair State, Kean University, and Borough of Manhattan Community College.

Lisa's passion for the field is rooted in her belief that all human beings should understand what healthy sex is, regardless of culture, body or ability.

Her particular areas of expertise focus on: desire in long-term relationship, the intersection of technology and sexuality and its affect on individuals and couples, body image and its influence on sexuality, the impact of the past on single people in America, and modern (online) dating. Her research focuses on marriage from antiquity to present day, modern romance and contemporary dating websites.